No one gives a fuck that I didn't. [ eddie snaps back, bitter and hurt, at the same time that robin keeps going and for a moment eddie wonders if this is what it's like to listen to him when he's revved up and talking. when he can't fucking stop himself either until the breaks slam and he remembers some fucking semblance of tact.

the people that do matter know. henderson does, sinclair and max too. and sure, he doesn't call steve harrington, nancy wheeler, or robin buckley friends but they've fought demo-bats together and that's something. maybe if they make it out of that place and it all goes to plan, they can be. maybe after that his goddamn life will turn around and it won't be a series of tragedies but some decent character development in the heroes journey. some school shit that stuck and he wants so badly instead of that 'fuck you' the universe sends his way each time.

he swallows, takes a deep breath. his chest hurts and he feels so sick that he's dumped this all on her.

then he snaps his gaze toward her, watches for a moment because he doesn't know what comes next. how is he not like his dad if he'll be arrested for that same shit, known for it unless they fucking figure out a way to convince the world that henry creel is still alive and what? that he's a supernatural wizard killing teenagers and eddie was just caught in the cross-hairs of it all. not meant to be there at all, not significant. nothing.

and if it were so goddamn simple that he doesn't want to be his dad. that he fucking wishes, no matter how hard he tries to be that image of the fucking confident king of the bottom dwellers, that he were anything else. ]

Probably none of them. [ he says after a moment, a low drawl as he tries to pick himself up and then falls because this place is dragging him down too. ] Am I brave? I jumped in that water after you because I didn't want to be the coward that stayed behind, not because I didn't want to end up like my dad. I didn't want-- I didn't want to get arrested like him.

That's not brave.