She listens to him and tries not to take her anger out on him again. It takes her breathing deeply a few times before she's ready to speak. "You know, when Vax started pursuing Keyleth, it wasn't easy for me either. He and I have been together since the womb. She was the first person who could possibly divide us. And I love Keyleth. I didn't want to hate her, so I had to get over myself."
"Even though I've had lovers before, I'd never loved any of them. Zahra was probably the closest, but you existed by that point."
She wipes at her eyes again, just to make sure that she's not crying still. "I never blamed you for what happened in the tomb, Percy. It was a bit out of character for you to rush forward like that, but I was right there beside you, just as anxious. If I had been a bit more cautious, a little less greedy, I might not have died that day. Vax blaming you always made me mad. You both act as if I had no responsibility for my on vices. If you want to know what our rift was over, it was that.
"And since you don't know, I've done my own pledge to the Raven Queen. She still needs someone to go after Orcus so he can stop trying to depose her from her seat. I promised that I would so that she could give me back Vax.
"I know that our dependence on one another is dangerous. It's been used against us so many times, but we're twins, so I don't know how to not love my brother more than life itself. And even as much as I'd like to have never had this conversation with you, Percy, I still love you. And that's my problem."
She stands and for the first time in a very long time, she's calm. Her heart hurts so much that she can't feel it anymore. It won't stop, she's sure. "I can't just be your friend again. That's not how I work. So, while I won't be an obligation, I sure as hell won't hurt myself over and over again. Never again."
She levels dead eyes on him so he can see her as she is right then. "When you're ready to figure out what the fuck you're going to do, we can talk." She taps the pendant at her throat, pulling Trinket back into his little home in the gem, and picks up her bow and quiver of arrows. "Until then, I'm going to act as if you don't exist." She moves to the box and pushes it out of the way enough so that she can open the door and slip through it. Before she's completely gone, she turns back to stare at him. "Don't die and don't do anything stupid."
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"Even though I've had lovers before, I'd never loved any of them. Zahra was probably the closest, but you existed by that point."
She wipes at her eyes again, just to make sure that she's not crying still. "I never blamed you for what happened in the tomb, Percy. It was a bit out of character for you to rush forward like that, but I was right there beside you, just as anxious. If I had been a bit more cautious, a little less greedy, I might not have died that day. Vax blaming you always made me mad. You both act as if I had no responsibility for my on vices. If you want to know what our rift was over, it was that.
"And since you don't know, I've done my own pledge to the Raven Queen. She still needs someone to go after Orcus so he can stop trying to depose her from her seat. I promised that I would so that she could give me back Vax.
"I know that our dependence on one another is dangerous. It's been used against us so many times, but we're twins, so I don't know how to not love my brother more than life itself. And even as much as I'd like to have never had this conversation with you, Percy, I still love you. And that's my problem."
She stands and for the first time in a very long time, she's calm. Her heart hurts so much that she can't feel it anymore. It won't stop, she's sure. "I can't just be your friend again. That's not how I work. So, while I won't be an obligation, I sure as hell won't hurt myself over and over again. Never again."
She levels dead eyes on him so he can see her as she is right then. "When you're ready to figure out what the fuck you're going to do, we can talk." She taps the pendant at her throat, pulling Trinket back into his little home in the gem, and picks up her bow and quiver of arrows. "Until then, I'm going to act as if you don't exist." She moves to the box and pushes it out of the way enough so that she can open the door and slip through it. Before she's completely gone, she turns back to stare at him. "Don't die and don't do anything stupid."