[ she's almost stone still as that quiet moment hangs between them, except that she can't stop the way her jaw clenches, or the way her bottom lip keeps threatening to pout. she's been wearing this expression too often lately, like there's a whimper right there behind it, along with a whole flood of emotions, barely contained. but she hasn't let it break yet, and the only time her stubborn need to not do this came close to being beat down was after she woke up from vecna's trance. when the initial shock that he actually let her go had passed, and steve was there, right there, letting her know she wasn't still trapped in her own head? that's when the dam started to crack. it was close. it would've been so easy, too easy, to curl up right there where he held her and cry until her head was pounding. but some part of her was convinced it would actually be easier to dodge that entirely. shut it down, blink away the blur of all that emotion rushing up, and hope that steve knew what she was trying to do, and why she had to do it. and mainly, wouldn't make it harder by asking something as insane as are you okay? she's convinced he must have known, or maybe even recognized it, because after they both took a moment to look up at the worried faces above them, he seemed to be just as determined to not let that dam break either. at the time, she didn't know if he was helping her keep it together, or if he needed the reminder, too.
although now that she's with him here, seeing that same look and hearing that same tone again, she's hit with another oh of realization that she's just going to- not worry about yet. not right now. but it means that when she feels that brush of his fingers against her cheek, she's leaning into it before she can stop herself. he says her name and she nods, quick, manages a quiet "yeah" before she has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself in check. and the first time around, when she came to on the floor of eddie's trailer, she was holding onto him before she could even process where she was and what actually just happened. but this time her hands end up sort of hovering between them at first, like she can't figure out if she wants to reach for his hand or touch his face or even just press her palm to his chest just to feel his heartbeat. she wants to do something, but she's too caught up in what feels a little bit like desperation.
pleaseberealineedyouherepleasebereal
she knows she should say something, she needs to give him more reassurance than just tipping her face so she can rub her cheek against his palm, but she can't do it. why the hell can't she ever just say something when she really wants to, and when she knows he needs to hear it? but... then she's taking a second to think about what he's saying, and how he's saying it, and her brow crinkles, but it's more just in confusion than any kind of doubt. because that... doesn't make sense, does it? they were just-
oh. oh. uh oh. oh no.
the way he's holding her should feel like too much, too quickly, but it doesn't. not at all. there's a split second of panic because he needs to be careful or all those nasty bites are going to open right back up and-! but... wow, that "split second" is quite literal, because a second later she's already curled up against his chest. her shoulders shift, because she wants to hug him back, keep him close, prove to him that she's real, and prove to herself that he is too, but those fucking bat bites require a moment of consideration. so with that in mind, her arms slip up over his shoulders, while she lifts up on her toes and tugs him down the rest of the way with a hand on the back of his neck, so she can tuck her face against his shoulder and hold on tight. ..okay, her face is closer to his neck than his shoulder, but she's calling it his shoulder.
how she manages not to drop every attempt she's making at keeping her emotions in check, right then and there, is honestly a miracle, but part of it is that what he said is just distracting enough to keep her from doing it. there's a part of her that wants to pull back, hold his face this time and ask him what he means, why he would say that when all three of them were together, right before she showed up here? but- y'know. maybe not yet. instead- ]
No, no, he didn't, he- It's okay. I'm okay, I promise. I'm right here. We're okay.
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although now that she's with him here, seeing that same look and hearing that same tone again, she's hit with another oh of realization that she's just going to- not worry about yet. not right now. but it means that when she feels that brush of his fingers against her cheek, she's leaning into it before she can stop herself. he says her name and she nods, quick, manages a quiet "yeah" before she has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself in check. and the first time around, when she came to on the floor of eddie's trailer, she was holding onto him before she could even process where she was and what actually just happened. but this time her hands end up sort of hovering between them at first, like she can't figure out if she wants to reach for his hand or touch his face or even just press her palm to his chest just to feel his heartbeat. she wants to do something, but she's too caught up in what feels a little bit like desperation.
pleaseberealineedyouherepleasebereal
she knows she should say something, she needs to give him more reassurance than just tipping her face so she can rub her cheek against his palm, but she can't do it. why the hell can't she ever just say something when she really wants to, and when she knows he needs to hear it? but... then she's taking a second to think about what he's saying, and how he's saying it, and her brow crinkles, but it's more just in confusion than any kind of doubt. because that... doesn't make sense, does it? they were just-
oh. oh. uh oh. oh no.
the way he's holding her should feel like too much, too quickly, but it doesn't. not at all. there's a split second of panic because he needs to be careful or all those nasty bites are going to open right back up and-! but... wow, that "split second" is quite literal, because a second later she's already curled up against his chest. her shoulders shift, because she wants to hug him back, keep him close, prove to him that she's real, and prove to herself that he is too, but those fucking bat bites require a moment of consideration. so with that in mind, her arms slip up over his shoulders, while she lifts up on her toes and tugs him down the rest of the way with a hand on the back of his neck, so she can tuck her face against his shoulder and hold on tight. ..okay, her face is closer to his neck than his shoulder, but she's calling it his shoulder.
how she manages not to drop every attempt she's making at keeping her emotions in check, right then and there, is honestly a miracle, but part of it is that what he said is just distracting enough to keep her from doing it. there's a part of her that wants to pull back, hold his face this time and ask him what he means, why he would say that when all three of them were together, right before she showed up here? but- y'know. maybe not yet. instead- ]
No, no, he didn't, he- It's okay. I'm okay, I promise. I'm right here. We're okay.