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rhodos_meme2022-08-10 10:12 am
rhodosmods) wrote in rhodos_meme2022-08-10 10:12 am
Entry tags:
TDM #1
TDM #1: AUGUST
Jump to: Arrival · Sound and Light · Into the Fog · Waking Up to a Nightmare · The Bonfire
Summary · Questions
Summary · Questions
The buildings of the plaza are all medieval stone construction, but they all have modern awnings and glass fronts. Tables out front display tourist wares: little plastic statuettes, postcards, t-shirts. Among these, it's easy to identify Greek lettering, Greek gods, photos of Athens and Crete. Predominant among the souvenirs are items marked with the name Rhodos.
But there are no vendors selling their wares. Even if characters wander into the shops, they are all empty as if their owners just stepped away for a moment. Lights are on, and some of the larger and nicer shops even have the whirr of air conditioning. Food stands waft the aroma of freshly grilled kebabs, and a gelato cart is cold to the touch and the ice cream inside is frosty and delicious.
The plaza where you arrive is set on a slope, and the direction of the sea breeze and the faint sound of waves against a shore indicates pretty strongly that down-slope is the direction of the sea. But looking down the slope from the main plaza, you can see an open archway in a tall stone wall, and beyond it is nothing but mist. Despite the clear sunny day in the plaza, the mist is a dense fog with barely three feet of visibility. If you enter it, you can see your own arms in front of you, but nothing beyond that. The breeze has gone still and the waves no longer sound so much like waves--the sound is warped through the mist so that it almost sounds like sobbing. After about five minutes of determined walking across what feels like flat ground with no other landmarks, you find yourself back at the archway.
Housing can easily be scavenged. Doors are unlocked and the interiors are clean and welcoming, beds freshly made, as if it is a hotel that's been prepared for you rather than anyone's personal residence. And yet, once you've settled upon a place to live, you start to find little signs that you have lived here all along. The photographs on the wall (which weren't there when you first arrived) depict you and your family and friends, even if you came from a world without photography. Upon arrival, you have only the clothing you are wearing, but within a day the closet begins to fill with familiar outfits from home, and within the first week you may find up to five of your own possessions around your new residence.
Note: Wardrobe is limited to what you can reasonably fit inside a non-walk-in apartment closet, what your character would reasonably wear and possess in canon, or what can be scavenged around town. There are two very small clothing boutiques where you can find most basics and a few cute outfits. For starting possessions two may be weapons or magical items, but you may have an additional three mundane items. All other personal items can only be obtained through regains or events.
The first few days in your new home are relatively uneventful. The days are hot and sunny and the nights are warm beneath a dazzling starry sky.
After not quite a week, the noises of a spectacle will lead characters to a small gate in one of the outer walls with steps leading down into the outer moat. The fog surrounding the city walls has drawn back for just this one little area, revealing an open air theater butting up against the castle wall. A path leads away from the theater on either side, but if you walk into the mist on either side you will promptly find yourself walking out of the mist on the opposite side, as if you'd circumnavigated the entire moat in just a few steps. Behind the theater is another high stone wall. Centuries of weathering has added rough footholds and handholds, but it would be a dangerous climb without equipment. Trees grow from the top of the wall, sticking limbs out of the wall of mist and clawing roots into the stones at the top, loosening them so that they're ready to slip at a touch.
The play that is projected onto the wall features shadow puppets, colored lights, and canned soundtrack special effects like the clop of horses hooves or the burst of trumpets. There is no dialogue or narration, so the story can only be roughly pieced together: there is a king and a queen, then a betrayal that leads to the king's murder. Later, the king and the queen appear again, participating in a ritual which seems to involve human sacrifice, a war and a triumphal procession, and then another betrayal and the king is murdered again.
The story repeats three times every night before shutting itself off. The first performance starts at twilight, and each repetition lasts about twenty minutes. Characters who watch it repeatedly will get the sense that it's slightly different each time, but the whole thing is complicated and confusing without any narration or dialogue to provide context, so characters will struggle to pin down how it's different. A slide projector is set up at the top of the amphitheater, with a pair of old speakers on either side of it. If slides are removed from the projector, they show only blank, uncolored plastic. If something is placed in front of the projector light, the scene is projected onto that object. The projector can be turned off, unplugged, or smashed. No matter what is done to it, as soon as no one is actively watching it, it is restored to an undamaged status and resumes playing.
After watching an entire repetition of the performance, some characters may be overcome by a fit of weeping. Tears roll down your cheeks and you can't seem to catch your breath. Despair clutches at your heart, colored by your own personal sorrows, and the weeping can only be stopped by receiving an embrace.
Others may find that the performance inspires them to reminisce. No matter how secretive you might normally be, you find yourself turning to whoever is sitting near you and telling them a story from your past, something that makes you nostalgic or regretful.
After not quite a week, the noises of a spectacle will lead characters to a small gate in one of the outer walls with steps leading down into the outer moat. The fog surrounding the city walls has drawn back for just this one little area, revealing an open air theater butting up against the castle wall. A path leads away from the theater on either side, but if you walk into the mist on either side you will promptly find yourself walking out of the mist on the opposite side, as if you'd circumnavigated the entire moat in just a few steps. Behind the theater is another high stone wall. Centuries of weathering has added rough footholds and handholds, but it would be a dangerous climb without equipment. Trees grow from the top of the wall, sticking limbs out of the wall of mist and clawing roots into the stones at the top, loosening them so that they're ready to slip at a touch.
The story repeats three times every night before shutting itself off. The first performance starts at twilight, and each repetition lasts about twenty minutes. Characters who watch it repeatedly will get the sense that it's slightly different each time, but the whole thing is complicated and confusing without any narration or dialogue to provide context, so characters will struggle to pin down how it's different. A slide projector is set up at the top of the amphitheater, with a pair of old speakers on either side of it. If slides are removed from the projector, they show only blank, uncolored plastic. If something is placed in front of the projector light, the scene is projected onto that object. The projector can be turned off, unplugged, or smashed. No matter what is done to it, as soon as no one is actively watching it, it is restored to an undamaged status and resumes playing.
After watching an entire repetition of the performance, some characters may be overcome by a fit of weeping. Tears roll down your cheeks and you can't seem to catch your breath. Despair clutches at your heart, colored by your own personal sorrows, and the weeping can only be stopped by receiving an embrace.
Others may find that the performance inspires them to reminisce. No matter how secretive you might normally be, you find yourself turning to whoever is sitting near you and telling them a story from your past, something that makes you nostalgic or regretful.
CONTENT WARNING: Cruelty and violence against (monster) dogs
After the characters have been in Rhodos for about three weeks, a heavy fog rolls into town. Unlike the mist that surrounds the city, the fog smells of smoke. Visibility is reduced to a mere ten or fifteen feet.
The electricity goes out, and shops are no longer replenished. Food may still be scavenged, but the food in shops and restaurants will slowly rot and may run out. Battery operated items will continue to work as long as the batteries still have a charge. Running water inside the houses continues to work, but it is sluggish and smells stale, leaving an unpleasant film on the skin.
While out on the streets of the town, characters will begin to encounter the monster dogs of Rhodos. The sound of a dragging chain precedes them, and then the hazy outline of a dog comes into view. It's walking oddly, however, with a sort of staggering limp, and the sound of the chain is underlaid by a low, feral growl. Furless gray skin peels away in patches to reveal bloody muscle. The heavy iron collar around the neck is studded with long black screws, the ends of which pierce the skin of the neck. Hazy eyes are clouded with decomposition, and yet that doesn't seem to prevent the dog from making its way straight toward you.
The dogs are not very fast, nor very smart. They can be outpaced at a brisk walk, and they will lose track of any character who gets more than twenty feet away or behind a closed door. But they are vicious. If you get within a few feet, they will lunge at you and attempt to bite. If two or three of them manage to corner you in a blind alley, you could be in real trouble.
In addition to the dogs, characters will begin to catch glimpses of Manifestations, both their own or those of others. At first you might just catch a glimpse of them through a break in the fog, but after a day or two they can be spotted standing outside of apartment windows and staring in. In either case, they will not approach or attack characters unless you're foolish enough to get within six feet of them. Then, they will attack, and they will pursue at a fast walk until they lose track of you in the fog.
After the characters have been in Rhodos for about three weeks, a heavy fog rolls into town. Unlike the mist that surrounds the city, the fog smells of smoke. Visibility is reduced to a mere ten or fifteen feet.
The electricity goes out, and shops are no longer replenished. Food may still be scavenged, but the food in shops and restaurants will slowly rot and may run out. Battery operated items will continue to work as long as the batteries still have a charge. Running water inside the houses continues to work, but it is sluggish and smells stale, leaving an unpleasant film on the skin.
The dogs are not very fast, nor very smart. They can be outpaced at a brisk walk, and they will lose track of any character who gets more than twenty feet away or behind a closed door. But they are vicious. If you get within a few feet, they will lunge at you and attempt to bite. If two or three of them manage to corner you in a blind alley, you could be in real trouble.
In addition to the dogs, characters will begin to catch glimpses of Manifestations, both their own or those of others. At first you might just catch a glimpse of them through a break in the fog, but after a day or two they can be spotted standing outside of apartment windows and staring in. In either case, they will not approach or attack characters unless you're foolish enough to get within six feet of them. Then, they will attack, and they will pursue at a fast walk until they lose track of you in the fog.
CONTENT WARNING: Blood imagery
On the 28th, characters are awakened by the sound of their front doors being smashed in. It's your own smashing door that awakens you, but you can hear more distant sounds of destruction from the other apartments nearby.
As you scramble out of your bed, you find that the homey, quilted bedding has been soaked through with blood, and it's sagging in the middle with the outline of a human body. But before you have a chance to properly react to that horror, your Manifestation is coming through your bedroom door — more than one of them, if you were sharing that bed with anyone.
You will have to fight or dodge in order to get out of the room. Your Manifestation is out for your blood. You can do damage to it, creating deep wounds and heavy bruises, causing it to stagger and slow for a moment, but no matter how much damage you do it keeps coming for you. Sooner or later, you will need to run.
When you make it out into the streets, you'll find that the entire world has changed. Heavy darkness fills the city, and no stars are visible in the sky. A few lights glow despite the lack of electricity, but they only provide a sickly, red-tinted light. Streets are slick with something that looks like blood, and the stone walls in many places have been transformed into metal or grate. Through the grate, you can catch glimpses of black metal hooks and gory, dripping meat that looks human in origin.
There is no palatable food or water. Anything you have saved has rotted or changed unnaturally into what looks like rotting flesh or lumps of bile. Liquid has turned into blood or black water. The only mercy is that symptoms of hunger, thirst and fatigue stabilize after 24 hours and don't get any worse. Don't worry, it won't be the dehydration that kills you here.
Your Manifestation pursues you tirelessly, and the monster dogs are faster, smarter, and moving in packs. Your home is no longer safe, and staying on the streets is deadly.
On the 28th, characters are awakened by the sound of their front doors being smashed in. It's your own smashing door that awakens you, but you can hear more distant sounds of destruction from the other apartments nearby.
As you scramble out of your bed, you find that the homey, quilted bedding has been soaked through with blood, and it's sagging in the middle with the outline of a human body. But before you have a chance to properly react to that horror, your Manifestation is coming through your bedroom door — more than one of them, if you were sharing that bed with anyone.
You will have to fight or dodge in order to get out of the room. Your Manifestation is out for your blood. You can do damage to it, creating deep wounds and heavy bruises, causing it to stagger and slow for a moment, but no matter how much damage you do it keeps coming for you. Sooner or later, you will need to run.
There is no palatable food or water. Anything you have saved has rotted or changed unnaturally into what looks like rotting flesh or lumps of bile. Liquid has turned into blood or black water. The only mercy is that symptoms of hunger, thirst and fatigue stabilize after 24 hours and don't get any worse. Don't worry, it won't be the dehydration that kills you here.
Your Manifestation pursues you tirelessly, and the monster dogs are faster, smarter, and moving in packs. Your home is no longer safe, and staying on the streets is deadly.
CONTENT WARNING: Body horror, immolation
Sooner or later, you find your way to the bonfire in the middle of the fountain square. There is no longer water in the fountain. Instead, the whole thing towers with flame, fueled by a viscous black substance in the basin.
A tall man stands by the fountain, gazing into the flames as if he is supervising. His suit is true black, fathomless black, while his skin is a dark red-black like the newly formed crust upon a lava flow. His eyes are black pools reflecting the flames. He takes no interest in any approaching characters, and will not respond to any questions. The only thing that will draw his attention to you is an attempted attack. If you try it, your blow lands, but he doesn't seem to take any damage. His head turns toward you and he considers you for a moment, as if he finds it intriguing that you would attempt such a thing. Then he returns his attention to the fire.
The dogs and the Manifestations will not pursue you into the circle of light cast by the bonfire. You can find a sort of respite here.
Time passes. It feels like days, though there is no way to mark the passage of time. The Dark Figure continues to supervise the bonfire.
At last, your attention is drawn to a sort of commotion approaching down one of the main streets that feeds into the plaza. You hear a rattling of metal, and a sort of gibbering moan. The bonfire illuminates first upon a pale, faceless figure which seems to writhe as it approaches, hovering above the paving stones. As it grows closer, you see that the figure is lashed to a square metal frame and bound with strips of barbed wire. Veiled figures on either side bear it forward, and the Dark Figure turns to watch it approach.
The figure upon the frame has no face and no mouth with which to make its agonized moans, but it continues nonetheless. It has limbs but no hands or feet, each limb ending in smooth stumps.
If no one interferes, the Handmaidens carry the frame forward and place it upon the fire.
The Handmaidens can be attacked, and hurt. They cry out indignantly at any attack, and recoil. They will not fight back, but they also will not be discouraged from their task by anything less than persistent violence.
If the pale figure on the frame is rescued by the player characters, it flails and gibbers helplessly, continuing to moan. If the pale figure is consigned to the flames, it begins to scream, and continues screaming for several minutes until the flame finally overcomes it.
In either situation, you begin to cough. Blood spills from your mouth, dribbling down your chin and spattering upon your clothing. But then the droplets begin to slither into letters, forming words that spell out your deepest guilt, in the words you yourself would use to describe it. No attempt to wipe the words away or cover them will prevent their legibility. The blood shines through whatever covers it, catching the firelight so that those around you can clearly read the words.
The Dark Figure and his Handmaidens made their exit while you were coughing. You are left alone with the other Tourists around you, your guilt, and whatever remains of the pale figure upon the frame.
Sooner or later, you find your way to the bonfire in the middle of the fountain square. There is no longer water in the fountain. Instead, the whole thing towers with flame, fueled by a viscous black substance in the basin.
A tall man stands by the fountain, gazing into the flames as if he is supervising. His suit is true black, fathomless black, while his skin is a dark red-black like the newly formed crust upon a lava flow. His eyes are black pools reflecting the flames. He takes no interest in any approaching characters, and will not respond to any questions. The only thing that will draw his attention to you is an attempted attack. If you try it, your blow lands, but he doesn't seem to take any damage. His head turns toward you and he considers you for a moment, as if he finds it intriguing that you would attempt such a thing. Then he returns his attention to the fire.
The dogs and the Manifestations will not pursue you into the circle of light cast by the bonfire. You can find a sort of respite here.
At last, your attention is drawn to a sort of commotion approaching down one of the main streets that feeds into the plaza. You hear a rattling of metal, and a sort of gibbering moan. The bonfire illuminates first upon a pale, faceless figure which seems to writhe as it approaches, hovering above the paving stones. As it grows closer, you see that the figure is lashed to a square metal frame and bound with strips of barbed wire. Veiled figures on either side bear it forward, and the Dark Figure turns to watch it approach.
The figure upon the frame has no face and no mouth with which to make its agonized moans, but it continues nonetheless. It has limbs but no hands or feet, each limb ending in smooth stumps.
If no one interferes, the Handmaidens carry the frame forward and place it upon the fire.
The Handmaidens can be attacked, and hurt. They cry out indignantly at any attack, and recoil. They will not fight back, but they also will not be discouraged from their task by anything less than persistent violence.
If the pale figure on the frame is rescued by the player characters, it flails and gibbers helplessly, continuing to moan. If the pale figure is consigned to the flames, it begins to scream, and continues screaming for several minutes until the flame finally overcomes it.
In either situation, you begin to cough. Blood spills from your mouth, dribbling down your chin and spattering upon your clothing. But then the droplets begin to slither into letters, forming words that spell out your deepest guilt, in the words you yourself would use to describe it. No attempt to wipe the words away or cover them will prevent their legibility. The blood shines through whatever covers it, catching the firelight so that those around you can clearly read the words.
The Dark Figure and his Handmaidens made their exit while you were coughing. You are left alone with the other Tourists around you, your guilt, and whatever remains of the pale figure upon the frame.
Arrival: August 1
Sound and Light: August 5-20
Into the Fog: August 21-27
Waking Up to a Nightmare: August 28-30
The Bonfire: August 31
Welcome to Rhodos! Going forward, events will take place in two parts. The Normal World part of the event posted on the 5th of each month, and it will be a lighter event both in terms of length and thematic content. TDMs will be bi-monthly and will feature an event element or elements for the Normal World which in-game characters may also play with on their own log posts. The sections on Fog and Nightmare worlds for the TDM will generally be the same every month, allowing players to test drive those elements if they'd like, but not including spoilers for the second part of that month's event. The second part of the event will be posted on the 20th of each month, covering events occurring through both the Fog and Nightmare cycles.
Test drive memes are considered game canon.
This won't always be the case, but for the nerds among you who are enjoying this sometimes-accurate tour of Rhodes, all location images in this TDM and housing are accurate to Rhodes.
Lastly, we are in need of mods! We're most in need of help for processing apps and activity. If we aren't able to get some additional mods, we will have to place a cap on applications, and we're hoping we won't have to do that. If you're interested, please send us a message over on the mod contact page. We've gotten the mod volunteers we needed so we should be all clear to proceed without an applications cap. Thank you to everyone who showed interest!
Sound and Light: August 5-20
Into the Fog: August 21-27
Waking Up to a Nightmare: August 28-30
The Bonfire: August 31
Welcome to Rhodos! Going forward, events will take place in two parts. The Normal World part of the event posted on the 5th of each month, and it will be a lighter event both in terms of length and thematic content. TDMs will be bi-monthly and will feature an event element or elements for the Normal World which in-game characters may also play with on their own log posts. The sections on Fog and Nightmare worlds for the TDM will generally be the same every month, allowing players to test drive those elements if they'd like, but not including spoilers for the second part of that month's event. The second part of the event will be posted on the 20th of each month, covering events occurring through both the Fog and Nightmare cycles.
Test drive memes are considered game canon.
This won't always be the case, but for the nerds among you who are enjoying this sometimes-accurate tour of Rhodes, all location images in this TDM and housing are accurate to Rhodes.
Percy De Rolo | Critical Role | ota
Percy was instantly on edge as soon as he looked around and saw how empty the town was. The seasoned adventurer was too used to such emptiness leading to trouble that before he hit the town itself he had unholstered Pepperbox from his hip and was holding it close to his body as he looked around. The mist also set his teeth on edge and he actively avoided anywhere that it seemed to be.
Right now he is carefully walking around checking around doorways and searching anywhere for people, familiar or unfamiliar. To anyone else he looks as if he is a bounty hunter on the track of a kill, so it may not be wise to sneak up on him.
2. Sound and Light
Percy does not mean to stop and watch the strange projection, but the science behind it enthralls him, his quick mind trying to work out how the show is being done. But before long he is sucked into the strange story, his eyes going almost blank and he realizes that it is close to his own story. At least to him it feels that way as he can see his father in the form of the king.
He watches all three performances unable to look away and he has no idea why as the story has nothing to do with him or his lost family. But by the end of the third show, Percy feels something inside himself break and he, a normally tightly reserved individual is sobbing as if his soul is breaking apart unaware that anyone might be watching him.
3. The Nightmare
No stranger to either restless sleep or being startled awake by enemies, the second his door smashes open, Percy is awake and rolling for Pepperbox gripping the gun and firing off at least one shot before the gun backfires and Percy is forced to make for the door. He knows he hit the thing and even though the gun is jammed he assumes he will be able to fix it as soon as he finds a place to hide and rest.
But he never gets the chance for every time he thinks he had found a shadow to hide in the Monstrosity finds him and makes to leap for his throat forcing the gunslinger to use what hand to hand combat skills he has to escape and make for the next moment of quiet, such as it is.
He makes no notice of his hunger or thirst hyper focused on finding safety and a place to fix the one weapon he's proficient at using. "Come on De Rolo use that brilliant mind to figure your way out of this," he mutters as he moves to run for what seems to be the millionth time.
4. Wildcard
[Prefer one of the other prompts with Percy, please feel free to toss them here. I'm down for anything.]
2.
[ Yuki says it delicately, wiping tears off of his own face. He had found his friend and they embraced, and then said friend kindly fucked off out of embarrassment.
Now he’s stopped in front of Percy, seating himself by him. ]
It was a good performance, wasn’t it? Is there anything you need to talk about?
Re: 2.
[ Percy struggles to gather himself but his eyes are still glistening with tears as he looks over.]
I don't know...it's a long story.
no subject
[ Softly, a little sad. ]
If you need to talk about it, this stranger can lend an ear. My name is Yuki.
no subject
[Another deep breath and Percy manages to pull himself into some semblance of a more stable individual.]
Percival..I would not mind a listening ear...but the story isn't a happy one.
I am....well my family was a large one but now all that are left is myself and my sister....our family was murdered in front of us by monsters.
no subject
Monsters? Oh, I can’t even imagine.
[ He shifts in his seat, a little uncertain. ]
Losing one’s family to monsters and surviving… I can’t say I relate, but I wish you peace one day.
no subject
[Percy manages a slight smile.]
I doubt such a thing is possible....I have even lost my found family now in my quest for peace.
[He can still hear the shouts of his friends as he let himself be blinded by rage as he pursued Ripley...he still doesn't know how that ended given he'd woken up here.]
I am....lost.
3. The Nightmare
At the sound of pounding feet, she pulls an arrow out of her quiver, notching it quickly onto Fenthras' bowstring and holding her breath. She smothers a cry of surprise as she sees the brilliant white of her lover's hair, especially as he speaks. Without thinking twice, she pops her arrow back into the quiver, Fenthras is slung over her shoulder and she puts out a hand to snag onto the characteristic jacket Percy always wears.
When she has the fabric in her hand, she pulls with all of her strength to get him into the doorway she's left open. Then, she has her hand over his mouth. "Be quiet. We don't want them to hear us," she whispers before finally looking at him and feeling tears well up in her eyes. "We can talk later, but we need to move now, darling."
Re: 3. The Nightmare
Percy is rarely taken by surprise, his past with its dark edges has seen to that. So when he feels his coat being grabbed and yanked he twists into the grip so that he can use his upper body strength and turn himself around to clock his attacker with Pepperbox. He just manages to drop his arm just before hitting the half elf ranger when he manages to face her for long enough to recognize he's being held by someone he trusts. It takes all his mental fortitude to not bite her hand when she covers his mouth. but it's clear from the tension in his body that he is struggling to stay calm. He loathes even the slightest hint of restraint and his mind and body are already strained by recent events. He'd be shaking if he felt safe enough, but he knows he can't show any sort of weakness.
He mouths her name against her palm and nods to make it clear he understood what she said and that he's ready to move when she is.
no subject
Even though it hasn't been that long since they've become lovers, she knows Percy well enough to notice all the strain and stress he's leashed himself in. She removes her hand from his mouth, gives him a hard kiss, and then grabs his hand to pull him along the alley to the relative safety of the doorway that leads to the windowless cellar she's been holed up in for the last two days.
When they are inside, she tries to move a large shipping box in front of the door. "Percy, can you help me with this? I don't think I can summon Trinket just yet."
no subject
She kissed him and held his hand. The quick simple actions startled the already shaky gunslinger into complete silence as he wonders if he's dealing with another Manifestation. He doesn't have time to ruminate on that long before he's being led into a cellar and he helps to move the box because he needs something for his hands to do before he loses his mind. He'd come to this place on a razor's edge already and now it was slowly getting worse. How long before he breaks he wonders, before he lets these creatures take him to wherever they go when they aren't terrorizing the town.
Once the box is settled against the door, Percy sits on it and begins taking Pepperbox apart making an effort to calm his mind in the only way he knows how. "It's good to see a familiar face," he says quietly as he works because he knows shutting one of his friends out when they are right in front of him never ends well.
no subject
As he takes up his position on top of the box to fix his gun, she gracefully slides down a wall to rest and think of what to do next. They're the planners of the group, after all. She can't stop being Vex'ahlia of Vox Machina just because Percy isn't hers.
"Just how familiar are we, darling?"
no subject
Percy hates the idea that he might be hurting Vex with his closed off nature, but he was also well aware of how broken he is and how unworthy of her he is. His reaction to Ripley was proof of that. Just the mere sight of the doctor had filled him with a rage that was completely his own now that Orthax had abandoned him, for what else had the demon done, but seek out a pact with someone more willing to fall to the dark. He has no idea how their battle ended as he remembers very little once he went after her. He sighs quietly and sets his tinker's kit and Pepperbox aside to look at her.
"Not as familiar as I think you believe us to be," he replies, trying to keep his tone neutral. He'd quickly figured out time is odd in this place; it would make sense possibly that his friends might not be in sync with him. "I...don't remember much of what happened just before I arrived on the hill here...but I know you and I were not that comfortable with each other yet."
no subject
But this is not the same man she sleeps next to, loves, loves her just as fiercely. He told her once that he'd loved her for much longer than he was willing to admit, but he never told her when he'd realized it, even though she'd asked him a few times.
"Okay, what do you remember, Percival? Let's start there." They were friends far longer than they've been lovers. They've always been able to talk to one another, even before feelings changed how they interacted. "Tell me where we were before you arrived and I'll share what I know as well."
no subject
"We were hunting Ripley," he replies, "we had tracked her to the Isle of Glintshore." He feels the rage building in his heart as he remembers watching her turning away from him and his voice grows tight as he tries to control himself. "She was about to escape and I gave chase....I couldn't let her go again...I would not let her go." He remembers moving to fire....and Ripley turning to raise her gun at him....and then shots, from who he doesn't remember. And then....blackness. After that he was standing on the hill outside this strange abandoned town...and his friends were gone. So he'd done what he'd always been good at, adapting and waiting.
His hands become fists as his pain is given physical form. "There were shots and then the world went black for a moment before I opened my eyes outside this town."
no subject
"She's dead. We made sure of it, tore her limb from limb to make sure before we took you back to Whitestone to revive you." She looks over at him, letting him see briefly how much this all hurts her before she attempts to shut her entire face down. "I found the letter in your jacket. We read it, or should I say that Vax read it out loud before we had the ritual."
She can't be emotionless around Percy and has to cover her face with her gloved hands, hoping that she's strong enough to not cry. Forcing herself to keep her tears inside, but she's not and a stilted sob escapes. "I told you... I told you that I love you and that you were the reason I couldn't go with Saundor."
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Percy can't speak...not because he's lost the power of speech, but because his emotions are overwhelming him. It makes sense now...why Ripley is his Manifestation...she was the last thing he saw before he...no he can't think of that. He will break if he thinks of his own death. He focuses on Vex, of easing her pain for he cannot stand seeing her cry....he cannot stand to see her hurting. He longs to go to her but he can't...can't make himself move. He swallows a few times and finally finds his voice again.
"I...hope the letter brought all of you the comfort I meant it to," he says in a horse tone of voice, "I wrote it.....after..well it doesn't matter when it was...but I wanted you all to know how much you all meant to me." A few lines hadn't felt like enough for that and yet he'd tried, tried so hard to put into words the feelings he didn't often let himself feel.
Her next words give him pause again and he does not know what to say.....he's loved all of Vox Machina, but the twins....they were as deeply hurt as he was and he'd felt drawn to them as soon as they'd met. It was why what he'd done in the tomb hurt him so deeply....he'd hurt the people most important to him and the guilt weighed him down hurting his soul. What can he say here that will not feel false because the mere words. "I love you," don't feel like enough.
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There's so much pain between those two points in time, but there's so much happiness and love and laughter. It's hard to put words to convey the very thing that keeps her fighting as hard as she does. But that letter? She's got thoughts on that.
"It was both beautiful and incredibly selfish, Percival. Your words and observations are very correct about every one of us, but you've never given yourself enough credit for the part that you play in our group either. And I know when you wrote the letter. You told me later yourself why and when."
She sighs, wiping at her eyes because she can't sit here and wallow. "Don't think that you have to say anything in return. I don't want any obligation from you, Percy. But you should know something I've already said to you. The words you said to Ripley, offering her forgiveness, even in the face of death for the both of you, showed me that I was still lacking, that I still had much room to grow. Sinaeth is the word I've carved into Fenthras so that I'm reminded that I'm not out here fighting for vengeance but for the chance and forgiveness for others and myself."
After taking a moment, Vex'ahlia stands and releases Trinket. She knows that Trinket will automatically go to Percy to check on him and it will give her the time to full her hurt back in so that she can be "Vex" again. He needn't know that her nightmares stalking her are Orcus and the Raven Queen. That would require too much damn explanation that she doesn't have the energy to give.
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Percy considers his hands for a moment as he feels the weight of Trinket's body settle against him with a sad growl. He buries one hand in the bear's fur using it to anchor himself as he tries to rein in his own hurt. He had surprised himself in offering forgiveness to Ripley...but his conversation with the Raven Queen had been enlightening. He was broken and he was always going to be broken, but broken things can be fixed in small ways and Percy was good at fixing broken items so why could he not fix himself.
"I am...glad that my actions inspired you," he admits quietly, "you are important to me Vex and it's clear that we reach the point that I can admit to how important you have become."
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"I wish he'd left me there," she whispers. It's the first time she's ever voiced that thought, but hardly the first she's had it. She might not remember any thoughts she had while dead—she's not sure she had any—but she remembers the cold that had seeped in and lasted for far longer than she cared to admit.
She gives a scoff of disbelief when he talks and she turns to face him, arms crossed under her breasts as she leans against the wall behind her. It's a defensive stance that she hasn't taken around Percy in so long that it feels wrong, but it also feels like the only way to keep from breaking apart at the same time. "You kissed me after I shared that with you. You later told me that you heard my plea and my confession and that's what brought you back."
Those are the words she's held like a precious gem close to her heart. And now, they're like a vise, squeezing every drop of blood from her as she realizes that despite the fact that she loves him with every bit of her mind, body, soul and heart, he hasn't thought about it the same way. There's a chance she will never have him now.
She shakes her head, staring at the wall so she doesn't have to see the face of the man who could wreck her with a single word or movement, and she hates herself for letting him get so close. "As I said, I don't want obligation, so don't say anything you don't fucking mean."
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The words he hears her whisper hurt him deeply. His low self worth now comes from the fact he is the reason she died in the first place. He'd let his curiosity and need to understand outweigh common sense and Vex'ahlia had died and Vax...Vax had given up his own life to save her when Percy couldn't even move to do anything.. It was guilt he would forever carry and no amount of begging and pleading to the Raven Queen would change that. The two most important people next to his sister were shattered by him. "He would have never done that," he said in his that odd quiet way of his when his guilt is weighing on him.
He is beginning to understand why Ripley, this place's version of her, wears the Raven's Queen's mask and carries his friends' names on her gun. She is his guilt made flesh and he deserves each dragging step she takes to follow him. "He would have moved the world itself to bring you back and I only wish I had moved faster and made the deal first. It was my fault it happened. I should have been the one to give my life in exchange."
He had tried in the Raven's Crest, but not even Death herself wanted his broken soul, so how could anyone.else want him. He looks at her too tired and worn to be angry at her, he always seems to disappoint the people he cares about no matter how hard he tries to be better. "I would have thought you and your brother would know how much I...would give for both of you. How much I have given with actions instead of words. What I have given you that the others don't get. My feelings are no obligation, but I understand if..."
He can't finish the thought...he can't...it hurts too much to even think.
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She slides to the floor and Trinket comes over to check on her. She takes the easy comfort of her bear. This is uncomplicated, real, safe. Trinket will always love her, protect her, see her for who she is and still want her love.
"I'm tired of us dying, Percy. I want to stop attending rituals to bring back those I love." She's done so for Percy, Vax, Pike, Grog and Scanlan. Keyleth and Taryon are the only ones she's never had to attend a ritual for, the only ones she's never had to rip her heart out momentarily in the hopes the Gods would be merciful enough to return them. She knows that she's had her own, that Percy, Zahra and Vax are the ones to bring her back, but she doesn't care.
"I thought I'd earned that finally, the chance to live, but yet here I am." She looks around Trinket so that he can see her again and there are definitely treacherous tears that have left her eyes against her will. "You understand if what? If I don't want you? Love you? Have you listened to anything I've fucking said? Did you not hear me when we faced Saundor? My heart has always belonged to you, but I don't want you to be with me because you feel obligated."
She sniffs and turns her head back into Trinket's fur. "I need you to say it out loud, you fucking idiot."
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"I adore you and him," Percy says finally, "you both get things from me I do not give to anyone else. Touches without warning, nicknames that anyone else would get a good smack for using, arrows and daggers...and other things to keep you safe.. I would give either one of you my life without hesitation. I have tried....I went to the Raven's Crest and drowned myself in the pool of blood trying to get her to take me instead. She said I was broken...." His voice catches a rare display of emotion, he makes no effort to hide.
"Loving you is no obligation in the slightest because I have done it since we met...but it was not until that moment when I admitted to you how strong your worth was that I could finally let myself feel it....even after I triggered the trap that killed you...Vax's choice only happened because of me....how could you love me and how could he when I've been the one to break you apart."
There it is....the words he has carried painfully close to his heart for so long, both the good and the bad. "You saved me...when I wasn't ready to be saved and all I want...all I've ever wanted is to be worthy of you."
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It's an ugly, horrible thought that freezes the blood in her veins.
Has the one person she's ever loved outside of Vax actually only picked her as second best? Has she failed again to win the real love of someone who she desperately wants to love her?
He speaks of her worth and she bursts into tears, unable to look at him. "Worthy of me? That's rich."
She can't go back to being his friend and his travelling companion. It's too much for her to do that. She knows what he tastes like, how he sounds in the throes of passion, what he looks like after he's sated and pulls her to him, how it feels to be in his arms when she falls asleep and when she wakes. There's no going back from that. Not that there ever was once he pulled back in his quest for revenge, from the brink of madness, just because she asked him to return to her. She'd loved him since that very day. She hadn't taken another lover, even a temporary one, since then.
She considers, briefly, of getting out of this cellar and letting the Raven Queen have her. Whatever the creature haunting her might do to her would hurt less than the thoughts going through her head.
It's worse than returning to Byroden to find the ashen remains of her childhood home and a grave stone instead of a beloved mother. She can't find a way to make the tears stop again. That time it had taken exhaustion to get her to stop, but she's not sure she ever will this time. "It's too much."
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Percy appears to shrink into himself ashamed of having said anything. Voicing his feelings is difficult on a good day and he is running on fumes even though he doesn't realize how deeply tapped he is. He has made things worse in speaking his heart and there is no workshop to hide in and no work to occupy his mind. All he has is his own spinning mind and a heart too broken to feel whole ever again.
Vax is going to kill him for hurting Vex and Vex most likely is never going to see him the same way again. All he ever did was hurt them and test their bond in ways that would one day break it. That old dark thought that Vox Machina should have left him in that jail cell rears its ugly head and he glances at the disassembled pepperbox in a way he hadn't for a very, very long time.His fingers long to hold it and make the pain stop. "I know," he admits in his voice, with the anguish he can no longer hide. "But I'm speaking the truth, Vex'ahlia...all of it."
"It seems I end up hurting the people I love even when I try not to," he adds, "and for that I am sorry."
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